Faithfully Fighting

Perspective is an amazing thing.  How we view steps in our lives seems, to me, to be directly related to what is happening in our universe at that moment. 

 For the past month or better I’ve had a persistent nagging pain in my lower right back.  I mentioned it to my oncologist when I saw him the last time.  He said it was near my lower ribs and would he like an x-ray to make sure I didn’t have a mestastic spot on my rib or back (not an unusual place for one to be).  I immediately said no, because I didn’t think I could deal with another area of cancer.  I mean, not knowing is sometimes more comforting than stepping up.  Of course, it’s not always the best course.  After my last chemo treatment the pain was very severe for a couple of days.  Then I had trouble not thinking about the possibility of it being a spot of cancer.  That totally defeated the denial/avoidance route.  The doctor had said if it was on the bone we could do radiation in that area.  When I realized that I was spending more time thinking about the pain and what it was I knew I needed to get it checked out.  Last Tuesday I called and asked for the order to get the x-ray.  I went from work over to the hospital and had it done.

Thursday I called, because I hadn’t heard anything from them.  My doctor is usually pretty good about giving me a call.  I tried to convince myself that no news was good news, but I just wanted to know.  His nurse called me and said they didn’t have the records for the x-ray (that’s why he hadn’t called).  She investigated it and called me back when I was driving Katie to ballet rehearsal.  She said there were some spurs on my ribs, and that there was a thinning area around the bottom of my spine.  It indicated probable areas of arthritis.  I started shouting hurray!!  I told her generally I wouldn’t be excited about arthritis, but in this case I was just so happy it wasn’t a cancer met I didn’t care.  She laughed and understood completely.  We discussed some pain medication and then we were done.  I was ridiculously relieved!!  Ok, ok, I know the arthritis won’t be fun as it gets worse, I am in no way saying that people with arthritis don’t have a lot to deal with, but at that moment it felt like it was a good answer. 

Thank you Lord, for answering this prayer for me.  For your hand in everything in my life.  What a great blessing today.

This weekend is dance recital weekend for Katie.  I am trying to rest at every opportunity, because this is usually an exhausting weekend.  I haven't been staying at rehersals, just dropping her off and her Dad has been picking her up.  Katie is learning a great lesson in independence, I hope (those of you who know Katie, know that independence is not a word usually associated with her wonderful loving spirit).  The other mothers and grandmothers at dance are so wonderful to help her and keep and eye on things.  Tonight I take her at 5:00 pm and we will be there until the performance is over (probably around 9:30).  I've been resting all morning.  We have to be back at 12:00 tomorrow for the second performance.  This used to be great fun for me, but it is a little daunting this year.  It seems like such a small thing, but for me it can be a mountain of energy.  I praise the Lord for His strength to give my girl this time.

Love, Lynn

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