Faithfully Fighting

Well it’s been a good week.  Last Saturday I was feeling better and Katie went away with her sister.  Pete and I took a drive and he briefly met some of my family, my Aunt, Uncle and my three wonderful cousins, Deb, Lisa and Ann and their children.  It was really good to see everyone.

I’ve been working this week, but the beginning of the week I was still having pain in my stomach.  The doctor ordered another CT scan, this time of my pelvic area.  I went Thursday night.  I’m really starting to hate CT scans even though my doctor really seems to like them.  By the time I went in for the scan on Thursday I had finished the Cipro antibiotic and my pain was pretty much gone.  I was only having an occasional twinge from time to time, not the amazing shooting pain from before.  I even thought about canceling the appointment, but didn’t want to bring down the wrath of my doctor. Apparently I didn’t have a kidney infection, my symptoms were deceiving.  The scan showed a slight case of diverticulitus.  I imagine it would have been a bad case if they’d done the scan the week before when the pain was making it hard to walk! 

So yesterday the doctor’s office calls to tell me about the scan and let me know that my doctor is putting me on two more antibiotics for a week.  I told them the pain was better, almost completely gone.  They said these would do a better job of making sure the infection was gone before I had my next chemo (which is next Thursday 7/3).  So I’m popping two different kinds of antibiotics and on Weds I’ll start my steroids.  Sometimes I feel like a lab rat.  In my head I understand that they are trying to keep me from having the pain again after my next treatment, because the chemo will attack any weakness in my body. 

Having said all that I want to share with you my devotional reading from yesterday:

Paul is an inspiration to me.  I am humbled every time I take the time to look away from myself and to the Word.

Have a great week!!  God Bless!

I’ve hit a little snag, again.  Seems like every time I have chemo something happens that throws my system and my systemic system off.  Thursday’s chemo did pretty well through Friday and Saturday.  I was feeling a little off on Sat night so I took a phenergan pill for my stomach.  It was only the 2^nd time I’d taken it and it knocked me out.  Poor Pete and I were sitting on the couch watching TV and the next thing I knew he was shaking my shoulder and telling me he was heading home.  I just nodded, dopily, as he left.

On Sunday I woke pretty drowsy and not feeling well at all.  Soon after breakfast I was having severe stomach pain.  It was debilitating and Mom came over to help me out. I spent the day with a heating pad and sipping water. When I get sick I have a great deal of trouble distinguishing when I should call the oncologists.  They never complain, and are always very sweet, but I hate to bother them if it’s just “chemo side effects” that will go away.  I did call on Sunday and let the PA on call know what was going on, she said to take a pain pill and Maalox and call if it didn’t improve.  It was much more severe than before, but I thought it was my 4^th treatment and maybe I had just over done on Friday and Sat.  I monitored my temperature and seemed to feel better (not good) but better, by the evening.  On Monday it was still bad, but better than Sunday, until the afternoon.  As the afternoon and evening came on my temperature started to rise.  Surprisingly the pain was less, but the temperature started creeping up and up.  We chemo patients have strict written instructions that if our temperature goes to 100.5 (one hundred point five) or higher we are supposed to call.  My old oral thermometer started registering 100.1, 100.2, then I started drinking cold water, taking Tylenol, putting cold wash cloths on my head with the fan blowing on me.  I just didn’t want to call again.  The highest it went was 100.3.  I went to bed about 9:30 pm and rested well until 11:30 pm when I was woken, abruptly, by shooting pain in my stomach through to my back.  It was bad.  I called immediately. 

I made it to the next morning by taking some Vicadin and Ativan.  At 9:00 am Tuesday Pete was driving me to the oncology center (the one thing I was trying desperately to avoid).  When I got there my temperature was 100.4 (I had checked it with my old thermometer before we left and it had been 99.5 – wonder how much it had been the night before??).  They took blood (my counts were good), they gave me IV fluids and did some other tests.  I was sore and very, very tired.  I looked awful and they aren’t used to that.  With the exception of the bad cellulites I had back in March I had never been in there without my makeup, earrings, and a big smile.  Tuesday I couldn’t even muster much of a smile.  In walks the nurse practioner who is one of the kindest people I have every met.  He always makes you feel like you are the most important person he has talked to all day.  He came in on Tuesday with a young woman who he introduced as a student.  He asked if she could stay for the examination.  I’m ashamed to say my first instinct was no.  I’m going to try to explain, but I’m afraid it will sound lame.  She was lovely, really, really, model, miss America lovely.  She was tall, blonde, perfect make-up, quietly elegantly lovely.  I was about to talk about stomach issues that I wouldn’t talk to my own daughter about (who might be older than her) plus, I will admit, I resented her loveliness.  I know it’s not fair, she had a kind gentle smile, she didn’t speak, but I did not want that pretty little girl in my room.  I was feeling crippled and ugly and I’m ashamed to say I resented her.  I tried to change my mind into a motherly mind set and plowed forward.  I even said a little prayer of forgiveness in my head asking the Lord to guide my thoughts to Him and to set and example of Him.  So I said yes to the NP that she could stay.

I was glad I hadn’t gone in to the oncology center on Monday because I  appeared sick enough Tuesday that they considered admitting me to the hospital for IV antibiotics and if he’d seen me on Monday morning I would have not won my argument to go home.  As it was, the test came back good enough that he did allow me to go home with my antibiotics.  I’m glad the blood work was good!!  I also have strict instructions that if my temperature goes above 100 after the next 24 hours I have to call them.  They said I have a kidney infection.  I’ve never had one before, now I have GREAT sympathy for everyone that’s ever had one.  I hate that every time I have chemo I seem to get some kind of infection. 

I also hate that when I’m at my worst that is when I neglect my prayer relationship with the Lord.   I finally took some time yesterday morning to look at that issue and spent some time on my knees.  I’m doing better.  Resting and trying to regain my footing.  I hate my weakness, but I’m sure I can learn a lot from the humbleness of it.

Thanks for the prayers.

This is short and sweet, but I had to share the news.  I had my CT scan last Friday and it went fine, but as usual you don't get any info.  I have chemo on Thursday, so I was afraid I wouldn't get any news until then on the scan.  But my good doctor probably knew I was anxious.  Today I received a short note in the mail from him:

Hi,

Just a quick note - your CT showed a decrease in the liver mets (the largest went from 2.1 cm to 1.4 cm - 33% decrease) and there are no new mets!!  Good News!  -S-

 I had a bit of a rough day at work today, but now I can't even remember why!!!

 Praise the Lord!  Thank you all for your wonderful prayers!!  Proverbs 16:20

 I'll write again this weekend, after I see him on Thursday and have treatment.

Love, Lynn

Hello everyone!!  I bet you thought I’d fallen in a hole.  Sorry for the long lapse in writing.  To be perfectly honest, I kind of felt like I’d fallen in a hole.  Just kidding, but it was the week after chemo and I have been trying to gain some sort of rhythm to what is going to be my long term routine and it hasn’t been easy.  I’ve had a bit of pain through the week and I’ve been trying to work as much as possible.  Those two items have left me tired and a bit on the grumpy side.  I actually had written a post earlier in the week, but after reading it I thought I sounded like one of those disgruntled people who no one can make happy.  So I just journaled it and prayed and worked toward an attitude adjustment.  Of course as the aches and stomach pain abated so has my grumpy attitude.  Funny how those two things seem to coincide.  I’ve been working during the day and coming home and climbing in bed by 8:00 every evening.  

I need to work, emotionally and financially.  I’ve also, as of this week, exhausted my FMLA time so now whenever I miss time I’m on the clock.  I won’t go into the technical details, but it just means they have the legal right to watch me now.  Everyone at work is wonderful and I’m sure and been assured that they will never hold me disciplinarily accountable for time missed, but they can if they want to and I want to show them they I will work as much as I am able (I’m my own hardest critic on this – it’s just all so new to me, feeling like a slacker).  I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m tired, and it ain’t always easy trying to keep a semi-normal schedule anymore.

Today one of Katie’s friends is having a birthday party.  It’s a mother daughter tea.  Honestly, I kind of wish I could just drop her off for a couple of hours, but I’m sure it will be fun for both of us.  I’m going to let her know on the way there that I’ve got about 2 hours of party in me (especially if it’s an outside in the heat thing) and then we’re on our way home.  Next Saturday Katie and I have ice cream pedicures scheduled.  My wonderful Sunday School class gave me a gift certificate to a local day spa for my birthday and when I saw it on their service list I thought it would be fun for the two of us.  I think eight years old is the perfect age to get your first professional pedicure!!  It may spoil her for life, but there a few things a mom has the right to do and introducing your daughter to one of life’s true luxurious moments is one!

I have been honored by a dear friend today.  She is walking in the relay for life and I am one of the people she is walking in honor of.  I wish I’d let you know earlier, but I’ve got the opportunity to make up for it.  Pete’s niece, Jeanne, is walking next week in the Susan B. Koman Race for the Cure in Washington DC in honor of me.  I get really emotional when people do stuff like that.  What an honor to be on their hearts when they are climbing hills and working hard.  I wish I was the one walking, maybe next year!  The link to her sponsor site is https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=263218&lis=1&kntae263218=629947B633F04F7698811BCF8D46EF18&supId=132338236

If you’d like to sponsor her or just check it out!!

I went to the doctors yesterday and I’ve got a little cellulitis starting on the left side.  It’s not bad, as a matter of a fact my counts were low (but on their way back up) and the PA wasn’t sure he wanted to give me some antibiotics (he wasn’t sure that little red glow was cellulites).  But I talked him into it because I didn’t want a repeat of the last infection, I wanted to chase this one away in the beginning (and I was pretty sure that’s what it was-sometimes it’s hard to tell the chemo pain from other stuff).  My mediport wouldn’t give up any blood for my blood work.  That was a pain!!  They ended up drawing blood the old fashion way (I’ve really gotten spoiled with the mediport).  Then they put some medicine in the port and let it sit for 30 minutes.  They said sometimes a little flap goes down over the opening into the vein.  It lets stuff go in (like IV and fluids) but you can’t suck the blood back through.  The medicine was supposed to dissolve the little flap that develops.  Sure enough, 30 minutes latter, they got blood flow.  I was really glad about that! 

Love you guys, sorry for the long delay, but you can see I’m just plugging at it.  Pretty boring stuff.  Boring is good.  Don’t forget I have my CT Scan next Friday, June 6^th.  We’ll see how those rascally cancer met spots are doing on my liver.  Keep praying!! 

God Bless you,

Lynn

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