Faithfully Fighting

Chemo is a Comin'

lynnwv | February 26, 2008 12:28

Today was Oncology Day!  It’s a big day for me that I had huge mixed emotions about.  Part of me wanted to get it over with, but most of me could have waited a year, or two, or never to go.  Not that I mind my oncologist.  He is a very, thorough, thoughtful, informative fellow.  He gives me tons of information and even smiles from time to time.  The little surprise I had was that after he gave me all the information he said “Are you ready to start today?".  I quickly answered “NO”.  He was going to start treatment today.  I was not prepared for that.  I was ready to bolt out the door and he said he would reschedule, but I had to start next week.

 

So starting next Thursday March 6th at 1:00 this is my chemo schedule:

 

I have 4 cycles of Adriamycin and Cytoxan, one every 3 weeks

 

After that I have 12 cycles of Taxol and Herceptin, one every week

 

Then I have Herceptin alone once every 3 weeks for a year

 

Seems my cancer was HER-2 Positive which is why they have to do the additional Herceptin for a year.  That pathology thing signals an “aggressiveness” that has to be taken down (unfortunately I’m along for the ride).

 

The doctor showed me the treatment room (the chairs look very comfortable).  He said the first treatment would last around 3 hours, but if everything goes good they may get shorter after that. 

 

Most of you know I’m a big thinker and planner, but in this case I cannot even begin to think about this process.  Every time I go there in my head it starts to hurt, my heart starts to pound, and I get that flight or fight instinct.  I want to run for the hills or hit something really hard. 

 

The Lord allows us to have journeys in our lives that we are sure we cannot travel through.  They help us grow in Him, they help us lean on Him, and they help us become better servants for His service.  You all know what I’m talking about, we’ve seen people (some of you are those people) that have traveled those journeys and become great people for the Lord.  I have never thought of myself as one of those people.  I’m a cruiser, one of those people who watch and observe and take it all in, hopefully learning something along the way.  Well I’ve learned a lot about the Lord over the last 2-1/2 years.  I’ve learned He is faithful, and He blesses us when we don’t deserve it.  Mostly I have learned that when we are in our deepest, darkest places we are not alone.  It’s still not easy sometimes, but through His strength we are strong.  In His hands we are comforted. No matter how this goes, or how hard this journey turns out to be, please help me remember that Great is His faithfulness.

General | Next | Previous | Comments (7) | Trackbacks (0)

Comments

Re: Chemo is a Comin'

Pete | 02/26/2008, 18:19

Wow, awesome testimony honey! I'm speechless....I'm reminded of the devotional I read (and you probably did as well since we use the same devotional) some days back.The writer was saying how a lot of people in Christian circles say the "God is good - all the time" saying without really thinking about and being honest that at times it doesn't feel like He's good all the time. The writer went on to say that at times when he felt like thinking that he reminded herself that God's goodness wasn't based on her feelings but on the cross and what Jesus did for us there. I find myself feeling that way and having to remind myself lately. I didn't mean this to keying what I'm thinking. Somebody who was praying for you emailed me recently and this part of his message sticks out in my mind from Romans 12:5 "... since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others." I'm right with you now and always.

Re: Chemo is a Comin'

Sharon | 02/27/2008, 04:26

I could have written that last paragraph of your blog. Amen to everything you said! I have had 8 rounds of chemo, a mastectomy, and now am undergoing radiation for breast cancer. I do not know what else you have already gone through on your cancer journey. I do know the Lord will be with you on this journey, however. He has for me, and there have even been blessings for me along the way that I could not have expereinced any other way. My husband was diagnosed with a serious neurological disease about 2 years ago also, but the Lord has been with me through it all. This is true even when I have felt discouraged or fearful. He will be with you also. Feel free to e-mail me at jesuschild54@hotmail if you feel up to it.

cheml

Mary Zuidema | 02/27/2008, 15:34

Lynn, you will get through this. I also was scared to start chemo for my cutaneous lymphoma 5 years ago. I had to sit from 9:30 to 3:00 while the poison dripped in me. Luckily, I did not get sick. But I was very tired and weak. Then my hair fell out but you deal with that. It sure helps to pray and have faith that it will work out. I didn't have to go through as much as you but I think everyone has the same thoughts and fears about it. Ed would drop me off and friends would take me home and also make meals for us. Thank goodness it all worked out for the best. You will get through it - you have lots of people there to help you so you are lucky. I'll be praying for you.

Your wonderful faith

Ann Hodgman | 02/27/2008, 20:15

Dear Lynn, Your latest message showed so eloquently how your faith will see you through this ordeal. Our family and our church will continue to pray with you and all your supporters. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and that wonderful faith. Best love, Cousin Ann

Treatment

Louise | 02/27/2008, 22:41

Lynn, I hope your treatment goes welll. I followed exactly the same course of treatment 3 years ago. I found it not to be near as bad as I had anticipated. You will lose your hair beginning about 2 weeks after treatment and you may already know it is way easier to cut it short before it comes out. This was not the best time but you just have to remember you are still here and hair grows back with time. The herceptin for a year was no big deal, at least for me. I didn't seem to have any side effects from it. By the way, side effects, make sure you really listen to the oncologist and take meds for nausea, whatever whenever you need them. The drugs they have are great and can really help but you can't have the attitude that you will "ride out the discomfort". I didn't do well on one of the pre-meds the first round. It made me ADHD for 3 days. I teach third grade usually and it was a real eye opener as to how some of my students brains are functioning. I didn't like it and my oncologist changed my premeds so I no longer had that experience. Make sure you speak up for yourself becuase there is no reason to be any less comfortable through all of this then you have to be. I wish you lcuk and I knwo that faith plays a great role in making it through each day.

Re: Chemo is a Comin'

Ann | 02/28/2008, 08:42

Lynn, you will get through this. You have the strength of the Shannon women in you (no offense, Uncle Wes! :)). You are right - God is always with us. And we are always with you. Keep remembering that. I have two hats done and ready to go - another one is on the needles (this one Debbie picked out the yarn and pattern; I'm just knitting it. Oh - there are already 11 people signed up to make hats!!!

Re: Chemo is a Comin'

Lisa | 02/29/2008, 12:19

Lynn, On the more practical side (this comes for the 9 months I drove Chris to Chemo in 2001 and 2002 - but is purely observational). 1. Have someone go with you who will help you focus on a) something else all together and/or (intermittently) b) that this is actually healing you. Side Note: Chris went through Chemo for 9 months, had all of the side effects, and on top of it was stuck in bed most of the time cause the chemo broke her pelvis before anyone bothered to take an x-ray. Chris is now *Cancer Free* She passed her 5 years Dec 2006. 2. Give yourself permission to not be strong. Yea, you are a Shannon woman, and have loads of the stuff. But some times we need to give in and not fight. So don't fight the chemo. Realize that ultimately the chemo is fighting for you. Five years from now I have no doubts that we'll be calling you cured as well! 3) Reach out to organizations (if you haven't already). A place to start is http://www.relayforlife.org/relay/crfb. You are not alone. There are loads of woman currently fighting and loads more that are survivors. They have lots of wonderful resources. It's why Chris and I walk every year.
Add comment
 
Accessible and Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict and CSS
Powered by LifeType - Design by BalearWeb - Hosted by New Technologies.