Faithfully Fighting

Surgery-A-Go-Go

lynnwv | August 01, 2008 15:31

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, go into his courts with praise.  Give thanks to him and bless his name.    Psalm 100:4

Hello everyone,

Just a short note to let you know that everything went fine with the surgery.  I'm feeling better than I expected, praise the Lord.  They sent me home with one of those annoying drains, but I think I've got it figured out how to hide it when I got to work on Monday.  I get it removed on Thursday and start back on my chemo regime then too (should be a fun day!).

I was hoping to see my angle nurse in recovery again, but she wasn't there (see post "Beyond myself" 4/4/08).  But everyone was really kind and helpful, as usual.  The surgery was scheduled for 1:15 and I actually went back early, about 12:45.  They were waking me up and taking me to recovery about 1:45 and I was on my way home by 4:15.  It was really a blessed day.

The doctor said that the implant had not ruptured, but the infection was extreme and it had to come out anyway.  There was lots of fluid gathering around the implant that was what kept re-infecting every time I had chemo.  He said that because I have lots of chemo left ahead of me there is no way he would recommend putting another implant in at this time. 

I hesistate to continue about something so personal, but I feel like I should.  I don't know how to say this without seeming small and selfish, but the deformaty I'm left with makes me sad.  I know in the entire scope of issues it is a very small one and I will get over it.  Many people may critize my emotional attachment to a body part, after all I am fighting a battle here and the small sacrifice is not a big price to pay, I know that.  I'm not devistated, just a little sad.  It's hard to explain but it kind of feels like the chipping away of a shell as the ocean rocks it on the sand.  It starts to get holes in it and then finally breaks apart.  I feel like little pieces keep getting chipped away.  What I'm hoping is that it's more like a sculpture chipping away at a granite rock, and when He's done a beautiful piece of art will appear.  The granite was a lovely rock to begin with, but after being held and molded by The Maker it becomes a reflection of Him.  That is my goal.

Have a blessed weekend!

Love, Lynn

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Comments

Re: Surgery-A-Go-Go

Shelly | 08/01/2008, 16:33

It's ok to be sad. A wise woman told me once to give myself the time to grieve (who would that be). You're entitled to it too! I hope this makes all the infections go away. I'm praying for you.

Sad

Ann Hodgman | 08/01/2008, 16:54

Dear Lynn, I was so glad to read what you wrote about being sad that a part of your body has been taken from you. My Mom had a radical mastectomy when she was in her late seventies. She had been a widow for years. It was hard for me to understand that she felt so badly when her breast was removed. Your explanation makes perfect sense and after all these years I can see her point. She has been gone for 16 years now and did not die from cancer but from a body that slowed down when she was 84. I wish you could have known your Dad's Aunt Rachel. You are such a trooper and an inspiration to all of who read your Blog. Love you, Cousin Ann

Surgery A Go Go

Pete | 08/02/2008, 07:31

I love the title - I must be rubbing off on you! I re-read your blog of "Beyond Myself" and thought "Hey maybe she was a real angel." You failed to mention the anesthesiologist, Dr. Marianne M., who I think, touched both our hearts with her compassion and sensitivity to God's intervention. She is an angel who lives among us. Can I say one more thing? The support and encouragement you're receiving from your "blog people" is also a testimony to God's goodness. Can I give a shout out and "Amen" to those who share with us? Thanks.

Re: Surgery-A-Go-Go

abbaschild | 08/03/2008, 04:21

Hi Lynn...so glad to hear everything went well for you..you're doing good in the process...that's what it is for us ...physically & spiritually...one day at a time..am so proud of you...keep looking up! Praying for you, as always, gloria

Re: Surgery-A-Go-Go

Ann | 08/06/2008, 12:03

Hi Lynn, How are you doing? I would think it's normal to grieve the loss of your boob, so don't beat yourself up over it. However, I do have a solution. I would love to knit you up a tit bit - it wonderful, fabulous colors!!!! Love, Ann

Re: Surgery-A-Go-Go

Sharon | 08/07/2008, 12:21

Lynn, It is only natural that you are going to feel sad over the loss of your breast. I had my breast removed last October, and I still feel a liitle sad about it. God gives us grace, strength, and even joy, but there are still feelings of loss. I have a nice prosthesis, but it is not quite the same thing. My prayers continue for you. E-mail anytime. jesuschild54@hotmail.com Sharon

surgery

Mary | 08/08/2008, 08:20

Yes, I can see why you would mourn a body part taken out but your life is more important. I know that doesn't help, but you will eventually feel that way. I would love to give you some of mine. Keep up your spirits and if you get bored, you can always work on your new book. You have so much support and I am so glad for you. Hope your next chemo goes well for you. Love, Aunt Mary
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